New Statistical Worst For England

Tags

10th wicket, Anguish, England, Last Wicket, Polish off the tail, Rubbish England

England are more than twice as bad as anyone else

We all know that England are rubbish. When they lose we (their fans) just know that they suck. And Wins are only the result of poor opposition, good players missing, great teams under-performing, or some horrible fluke.

Firmly believing this, I wanted to prove that England are the worst at bowling out 10th wicket partnerships. It wasn’t hard. Cricinfo has this wonderful list of the top 50 best, most horrible, 10th wicket stands. I figured that England appeared a lot in that list: as the victim – obviously. After twisting a SUMIF statement I produced the simple table to your right. It tells you that England are easily twice as bad as everyone else at conceding runs to the worst batters in the other team. Whoops.

OK, I know that with historical cricket stats, England and Australia are likely to have skewed results because they have played more matches but, even so, it isn’t something to stick on your bedroom wall. Unless you’re a REAL England fan.

Do not look at this.

In the interests of fair play, I think England fans should ignore the table to the left which shows that even though they are TERRIBLE at bowling out numbers 10 and 11, their own numbers 10 and 11 aren’t the worst. Shame on you England – stop being decent, I can’t cope.

What else stands out from this table is that, given how (relatively) few test matches that New Zealand have played, they’ve had more than a few decent digs from their rats and mice down the order – fear them.

<– (total runs scored by 10th wicket partnerships, per country, from the top 50)

 

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England County Form XI

Tags

County Cricket, England, Sri Lanka, Test Match

So, what if the England XI for this upcoming test series vs Sri Lanka was chosen purely on county form? Sure there’d be some changes, right? But how many? Let’s have a look at the top of the batting & bowling tables. Of course, I will remain unable to pick incredible imports like Saeed Ajmal. Below are my picks, along with a pure guess at their chance of playing for England in the next 12 months.

County cricket stats from early 2014

THE OPENERS – an easy choice here. They own the top two spots, and open for their counties.

Adam Lyth – Peanut.
Yorkshire – left hand bat..

Age 26 – with 5561 runs at 40.29, with 10 hundreds, 37 fifties.

A solid player who has really excelled in a few seasons, struggled last year (if memory serves) but I’m glad to see him back in form.

England chances – 10%

 

Daryl Mitchell – Mitch.
Worcestershire – right hand bat.

Age 30 – with 7748 runs at 40.14, with 17 hundreds, 34 fifties.

He always appears to score runs without screaming his name. The kinda guy that Worcestershire fans will love, but others might not know so well.

England chances – 0%

 

THE ENGINE ROOM – the middle order. Simply the next most highly scoring batsmen, which happily includes an all-rounder for that perfect balance that we all crave.

Ed Joyce – Spud.
Sussex – left hand bat.

Age 35 – with 14,688 runs at 47.38, with 36 hundreds, 79 fifties.

A quality player who has played at the top level, for England and Ireland, but never quite hit the same heights as he did domestically. A mini Hick/Ramprakash?

England chances – 5%

 

James Vince.
Hampshire – right hand bat.

Age 23 – with 4411 runs at 40.10, with 12 hundreds, 18 fifties.

A young lad who already has a solid record and a very impressive 50s to 100s ratio. He has already played for the Lions so an eye must be upon him already. Not yet having a nickname may go against him.

England chances – 15%
(His chances depend on the success of the current new boys.)

 

Samit Patel.
Nottinghamshire – right hand bat (slow left arm).

Age 29 – with 12,849 runs at 40.36, with 20 hundreds, 40 fifties.

Like Ed Joyce Samit has already played for England and many people wanted him in the squad. When he was younger, I hope he could be England very own Potato – you know – like the mighty Inzamam-Ul-Haq. I didn’t make that comparison lightly, Samit averaged over 50 earlier in his 20s. His offspin is also handy and adds great balance to any team as a 5th bowler.

England chances – 10%
(Only so low because Moeen Ali has been picking ahead of him in the current squad.)

William Bragg.
Glamorgan – left hand bat.

Age 27 – with 3513 runs at 31.08, with 2 hundreds, 23 fifties.

Listed as a wicket keeper but currently batting at number 3. Clearly a great year for the lad, but one season doesn’t get you picked for your national team. Hopefully good form will continue and we’ll know his name better in the future.

England chances – 0%

THE WICKET KEEPER – the highest scoring ‘keeper is Riki Wessels but he currently does have the gloves for Notts, so his colleague makes my list.

Chris Read – Reados.
Nottinghamshire – right hand bat.

Age 35 – with 13,716 runs at 36.67, with 21 hundreds and 76 fifties.

He has been my favourite ‘keeper in the country for over a dozen years. Genuinely pugnacious, and appears to live nothing more than getting his team out of a tight spot. Arguably the best “gloveman” in the country. I still think England should pick him.

England changes – 0%

THE BOWLERS – without these guys you cannot win a test match. Fact.

Will Gidman – Gidders.
Gloucestershire – right arm medium (left hand bat).

Age 29 – with 186 wickets at 20.30 (also 2140 runs at 36.27).

More of an all-rounder than I’d previously realised and not to be confused on scorecards with his older brother who is also an all-rounder, but more of a batsman. Suffers from a terrible nickname, but it is a mystery to me, with bowling figures like this, why he hasn’t even featured for the Lions.

England chances – 15%
(I hope I’m wrong!)

Jack Brooks.
Yorkshire(!) – right arm medium fast (right hand bat).

Age 30 – with 190 wickets at 27.15 (also 509 runs at 13.05).

A sweat-band touting and excitable bowler who powers the ball down as much by force of will as anything else. Draws the faces of the oppositions 3 most dangerous batsmen on eggs and eats them before matches. OK, not true, but it would be fun. He has played for the Lions … there are those that wanted him in this squad too. You get the feeling he’d never willingly let his captain down.

England chances – 25%

Mark Footitt.
Derbyshire – left arm fast medium (right hand bat).

Age 28 – with 137 wickets at 30.03 (also 354 runs at 7.69).

Possibly not reached the heights he hoped for having played for England’s U19 team. Derbyshire have produced a good few quicks over the years. Being a left armer suits this team down to the ground. not sure he’s on the selection radar right now, but there’s no reason he couldn’t get there. Obviously having a great season thus far.

England chances – 0%

Adam Riley.
Kent – right arm offbreak (right hand bat).

Age 22 – with 70 wickets at 31.30 (also 186 runs at 7.75).

The second of two batting rabbits, but they’re here for wickets! Not well known before this season where he has excelled. With English spinners thin on the ground, he could well get a chance . but probably not in the next 12 months.

England chances – 0%

 

SUMMARY

Even though this unorthodox selection method features no current England players, I hope it has introduced you to a few new players on the county season. This selection method would never work though, as current England players play fewer games for their counties. Still, when picking a replacement player, I deeply wish they’d pay more attention to current county form.

SCOTTY BORTHWICK for 12th man. Because I like him.

England’s Baffling Batting

Tags

Angst, Compton, Cook, England, Fury, New Zealand, Sloth, Slow, Slug, Tortoise, Trott

Good day folks, before day 4 (or 3, if you don’t consider Monday’s washout) begins, I wish to complain. To complain about England and their mental approach to this; their second innings.

OK, they didn’t enforce the (or invite New Zealand to) follow on. With the weather around, I think they should have done so, but I do understand why they didn’t. Two main reasons, I think, (1) bowler preservation, and (2) the pitch isn’t really that bad at all – batting now will be easier than batter later on.

Now, that aside, my gripe is this. England have a big lead, the pitch is fine, the New Zealand bowlers are good, but not the most terrifying in the world. So England, in this position, against ANY attack, with the safety of a 180 run lead and a positive mindset, should be able to score AT LEAST one run per three balls faced. That is not asking a lot. Compton and Trott managed approximately half of that. Pathetic.

Compton’s misery maybe explained by him feeling the need to fight for his place. Even if that is the case, it shows a mental frailty that does node bode well for the Ashes. For me, that amount of nervousness and fragility will be seized upon by the Aussies and he has now batted himself right out of contention. One CANNOT be timid against Australia.

Trott’s go slow was even more ridiculous and had me gnashing my teeth. This guy is a high class batsman. He averages ~50 in test cricket, and has scored at a sniff under a run every other ball across his other 72 test innings (a strike rate of 46). His place is not in any doubt, his skills are not in doubt, his character is not in doubt. Until maybe now. If Alistair Cook (who has had a miserable series by his own high standards) can play positively and score so freely, at a much higher rate than usual – because of the situation – why was Trott only able to score at less than half his normal pace?! I honestly don’t know. He made me angry and I cannot fathom AT ALL any reason why he batted so poorly.

Compton’s crawling was poor, but possibly understandable, Trott’s can only be either selfish beyond normal reason, or an attempt at match fixing. It was that bad. Of course I don’t think think he is involved in any wrong doing at all, but I cannot contrive of anything else to explain one of the most bizarre innings I can recall.

Cone England, step it up in the morning or I’ll go to Paris for the French Open.

The Far-Reaching Pain of a Single Spinner

Tags

Alistair Cook, Che Pujara, cricket, Dust Bowl, England, Flat Deck, Heat, India, Spin Bowling

From the first England vs India test, there were the following non-surprises:
(1) India bat batter then England on flat pitches.
(2) India’s spinners know how to bowl.
(3) England are terrified of not having (at least) 3 quick bowlers.
(4) England are in deep shit.

There were also the following partial surprises:
(1) Che Pujara is amazing – however good you may have thought he was before this, an unbeaten double-ton is never expected.
(2) Alistair Cook is astounding – we knew he was solid and a grafter, but really, his (almost lone) defiance was as stunning as Pujara’s – especially when you factor in that Cookie faced the better bowling.
(3) The biggest surprise though, was that both of India’s quick bowlers out-bowled ALL three of England’s.

Why Were India’s Quick Bowlers So Much Better?
Think about it.
Put yourself in the mind of one of the England bowlers.
You’ve lost the toss, the pitch looks like a polished airport runway. In front of you are top notch batsmen who have played on flat decks like this all their lives. The heat is already sapping your energy and the bright sun is hurting your eyes. You have about 20 overs of bowling hell to go though. If you get 2 wickets, you’ll be over the moon.

Now let’s try to pry inside the mind of an Indian pace bowler.
You’ve won the toss. Time to put you feet up and laugh at the English bowlers. Ah, we’ve got 500 on the board. This’ll be fun. Our TWO spinners will bowl forever on this deck; it should break up and turn later. I might have a couple of 3 or 4 over spells to bowl today. Gosh, I’ve not had a bowl yet, I reckon I could do some damage. I’m really going to tear in, I’ll show Dhoni that I can do a job; I know how to get wickets on these pitches.

We really should not have been surprised.
But I was supposed to talk about England’s solitary spinner.
But I was.
With a twin-spin attack, the England fast bowler’s minds wouldn’t be so afraid of the heat or bowling such long spells. They might not be afraid of going all-out. They might well try to bowl quicker, not just try to preserve themselves.
Still, what do I know?
I’ve never played cricket.

Bad T20 Finals Day

Tags

2012 Champions, Australia, England, Sri Lanka, West Indies, WT20

The first final was ACE.
Everything went to plan.
The bowling was OK, and the batting was sublime.
The English were less than perfect in the field and the Aussies carried on batting.
England tied them down a bit, but the Aussies kept on batting.
It was terrific.
England batted too slowly, never quite able to catch up with the rate.
Each time they threatened, they’d lose another wicket.
The Aussie bowling was OK, but the pressure cooked the English.
It was brilliant.

OK, I lied. 
I hated it. I cried. 
Then chips, I fried.

The Second T20 Was Perfect
The lovely Sri Lankans strangled the West Indian bully boys.
After 10 overs, those hapless Caribbean folk had scored on 32/2.
I was laughing it was the perfect anti-dote to the first final.
My 2nd (sometimes 3rd) favourite team were being lovely.
Then Marlon friggin’ Samuels hit a six.
And another and another and a-bloody-nother.
No-one else could bat worth crapm, but Samuels – he bloody did.
The git.
Still, with only 137, those fabulous Lankans would be fine.
Jayawardene and Kumar Sangy will laugh as they knock the runs off.
The pitch is a belter. Almost unfair really.
48-1 .. all is good.
69-7 .. I hate cricket.
21-6 .. that was the collapse.
No way back. I don’t really know what made the difference in the end.
SL bowled beautifully, Mendis taking 4-12, the best.
Gayle failed, so SL had all the aces.
Somehow, Darren Sammy’s brain made SL crumble.
I can’t be sad, but I wanted SL to win.
To commiserate I’ll make some extra sweet tea 😦

The West Indies were so good,
Played better that they should.
Gayle ran out of tricks,
And the Lankans won it early,
But Marlon hit his six,
Then the Lankans all went girly.
They failed with the bat,
And that was friggin’ that.

England does a rubbish

Tags

Ajmal, Bairstow, Bresnan, Broad, Dorsal Finn, England, Kohli, Malinga, Paksitan, Ravi Bopara, Samit Patel, Sanga, Swann, t20, Twatto, world cup

England made a whole big pile of mistakes today.

(1) The team.
(1a) Ravi Bopare: Nasser Hussain (bless him) loves Ravi Bopbop and even he said it was a daft selection. He is hopelessly out of form, out of confidence, and has a worryingly deep pit in the centre of his chin.
(1b) Jade Dernbach: The Dirtbag has everything. Genuine pace, good variations, yorkers, slower balls, even a good bouncer. For some reason he has been hittable all tournament. I don’t quite know why. But suddenly bringing him back was odd.
(1c) Tim Bresnan: Bressie lad’s experience would have been ideal for a crunch game. So, with  a team of inexperienced players, the only sensible thing was to drop him.
(1d) Danny Briggs: Twiggs opened the bowling and did well each time. In fact, each game he played in, England won. He’s young, with a cool head, and has a lot of T20 experience. Best drop him too.

(2) The toss. On a tired pitch, one where he knew what a good score was, where pressure batting 2nd was more than likely to tell, Broad won the toss and chose to bowl. Gimp.

(3) Mitts. We couldn’t catch a sodding cold. Swanny’s drop at slip was terrible. For some reason the TV folk said it was a sharp chance. Bollocks. the ball looped, at medium speed, of the shoulder of the bat, straight to Graeme who mistimed his jump, and got only his finger tips to the ball. If he wasn’t so busy being embarrassed he might have had a chance at taking the rebound.
(3a) Mitts: Jonny Bairstow is now flagged in my mind as “not a ‘keeper”. I have always been a fan of selecting a “proper” gloveman, thinking that his skill by brining an extra wicket may well make more difference than an extra few runs. the other point here is that Bairstow is a fantastic out-fielder, so putting him behind the sticks double-weakens England.
(3b) Samit Patel: His bowling is normally pretty good; but if he gets tonked in one over and you have another option, then Broad was a prick for not using it. Even if it was Ravioli.

(4) Bats: Hello Malinga. I know you, you’re the chap who bowls full and straight. Quite handy you are too. But I play for England. I can do what the heck I like. Gimp. Gimp. Gimp. Gimp for 3, in fact.
(4a) Morgan never got going, the middle order collapsed. Samit held his nerve. Swann tried to make amends. Too much damage was done early on.

All in all, it didn’t make great viewing, and to be fair, with most of these mistakes being utterly self-inflicted, England didn’t deserve to win. The west Indies though, they are pretty lucky. They played poorly all day and some how got home against the Kiwis.

My heart wants Sri Lanka to win, but my head says Australia will. I can see Australia getting hammered though, their batting line-up pre-tournament-proper was frail, and has been for some time. Twatto, Warner, and Mussey can’t keep doing it all. If they fail, their world could come crashing down; but from where I’m sat, they seem lucky. All of this means that Pakistan will win – their bowling attack is probably the best, and by a distance. The trouble is that they can’t normally catch of field, though their effort and enthusiasm have been great so far. Which means India will now win. And if they do, there will be only one reason: Kohli.

Why I like England’s Squad

Tags

Afghanistan, bounce, cricket, England, pace, slower ball, spin, t20, world cup, yorker

The bats: England’s batting is youthful (Hales, Bairstow, Butler), powerful (Morgan, Bairstow, Butler, Keiswetter, Wright, Lumb), varied (Morgan, Butler, Bell), and experienced (Bell, Keiswetter, Morgan). I didn’t even get to mention Samit Patel; who I rate very highly and could turn out to be one of the most valuable players in the tournament. Add to that, bowlers who can bat; and that’s a GREAT line up!

The balls: England’s bowling attack is as varied as it is possible to be. Jade “Dirt Bag” has a bag of tricks equal to that of anyone in the international game: slower balls, yorkers and (up to) 90mph pace. Steven Finn is tall, rapid, accurate (mostly) and one of the two or three most promising young fast bowlers in the world. Stuart Broad, when the mood takes him, can be a tremendous bowler of nous and venom – and he will want to make a point as he has been off the pace earlier this year. Swanny is one of the best spinners in the world, and aided by Patel and/or Briggs (both left armers to his right) should provide all the slow bowling England require.

The outsiders: Bressie-lad is a canny and experienced bowler who can bat. He will be a brilliant replacement for any injured bowler but, in the sub-continent, I can’t get him in the starting line-up. Ravi, I’m not a fan of. I want to like him, but I get frustrated by the lack of frustration he shows when he screws up royally. And his chin-pit.

The problem is that England can only select 11!