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Category Archives: Moaning

Ceefax Report – England vs Sri Lanka – Test 1 – 2016

21 Saturday May 2016

Posted by grunthosbird in Cricket, Moaning

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Headingley, James Anderson, Jonny Bairstow, Kusal Mendis, Rabada, Sri Lanka, Test Cricket

ceefax-report-01-01

ceefax-report-01-02

In this test match Sri Lanka were confronted by a perfect storm.

Their legends have retired, some of their new guys haven’t quite
cemented their places, the clouds were looming, it was May, England were still cross about 2014, Anderson was well rested, and Bairstow was bristling.

10 for 45.

25.1 overs – eleven maidens – forty-five runs – ten wickets.

ceefax-report-01-03

Jonathan Marc Bairstow was astonishing too. In bowling conditions only two players scored a number of runs are a good rate – Jonny B and Kusal Mendis. Jonny rode is luck, surviving three reviewed decisions, and went on to be the test’s only century-maker. You may not know that is first class average is almost 48 – you might be less surprised after this match.

I like looking at form of current players, they waver more than career averages and rankings, and as a result often surprised you. This year’s test averages are odd, as we’re only in May, and are easily inflated by one good performance. But do not forget the name Rabada!

ceefax-report-01-04

 

Pathetic Points System

19 Thursday May 2016

Posted by grunthosbird in Cricket, Moaning

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Andrew Strauss, Bilateral, cricket, Points System, Tests

At least that’s what everyone appears to be saying.
I wrote a response to the 12th Man letter written (possibly) by Andrew Strauss.
I imagine it will disappear into a spam/junk/clutter filter of some kind.
But here, for your pleasure, are my brief thoughts on the idea:

Hi Andrew,nos
Thanks for your letter 😉
I’m a fan of the points system. I heard, on the radio today, a very typical English reaction. The kind of thing I’ve been guilty of myself many times.

Dear old Aggers (I think it was) suggested that the points system might make a captain more concerned about chasing a win, and consequently they might be more defensive. Therefore, it’s a bad idea.

OK – maybe that *could* happen. How about the reverse – it could make a captain MORE aggressive. (S)He might be desperate for extra points to help win the series. How very English it was to dwell only on the negative.

I cannot honestly see a problem beyond the impossibility to please everyone with the amount of points awarded for each type of game played.

Yours spiffingly,
Dave.

Stupid British Tennis I love You

07 Thursday Apr 2016

Posted by grunthosbird in Moaning, Tennis

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Andy Murray, Heather Watson, Jamie Murray, Johanna Konta, Laura robson, Naomi Broady, tennis

jokoThe near future of British tennis is looking pretty good – at least for the ladies. Johanna Konta is closing in, fast, on the world’s top 20, Heather Watson, between injuries, is constantly flirting with the top 40 or 50 – and Naomi Broady, with her BIG serve, has surged into the top 100 over the last year or so. And, possibly, the best talent of all, Laura Robson, is only out of the top 50 due to a phenomenally poor run of serious injuries 😦

However, the men’s game is not so well served. We have Andy, for sure, and Jamie – the world’s best doubles player now … but once you leave Dunblane the men’s game thins out dramatically.

One puzzle is this: we’ve been strong contenders are junior level for – if I understand it correctly – several decades. From that point on, our players (rankings wise) run away and cry in the toilet. A couple guys, right now, are trying to cement a place in the top 100, but the strength in depth of the men’s game is staggering. Not that this is the only reason – that doesn’t explain why our junior players drop off so.

Who knows. I sure don’t. I’m now bored of typing for no reasons.

Joe Root is Ruining English Cricket

12 Sunday Jul 2015

Posted by grunthosbird in Cricket, Moaning

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Cardiff, English Cricket, Joe root, Root of all Evil

What does he think he is doing? Scoring rapid and orthodox hundreds. Scoring well in all forms of the game. Catching well, and even taking wickets.
root
He must be the worst thing to happen to English cricket for decades.

When KP was blazing a trail we could blame his brashness, his arrogance, his sixes, and his success on being South African. We can’t with Joe Root. He’s from Yorkshire – heck, we can’t even blame the weather.

We can no longer blame the short comings of the county system. We can’t blame football, we can’t blame Peter Moores, we can’t blame the ECB, and we can’t even blame ourselves.

If Joe Root can be this bloody good with all of our traditionally, and deeply held, British handicaps cricket will suffer. We’re a nation of moaners and he is ruining everything.

Joe Root … thanks for nothing.

Probab Ali Moeen

24 Friday Apr 2015

Posted by grunthosbird in Cricket, Moaning

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Adil Rashid, England Selection, James Tredwell, Moeen Ali, Spin Bowling

Moeen is potenti-Ali (sorry) the most significant newcomer to the England test (and ODI) teams in recent years. For the longest time have England craved a batsman who can bowl more than “part time” spin. It enables the easy selection of two spinners on turning tracks, and the option to always have a spinner – even when you don’t think you need one – on green seaming wickets, for example (though I personally loathe that view).

ali-beard

 

 

 

 

 

 

However, I don’t wish to talk him up right now – I aim to defend him for what I expect will be a very ordinary game for him – this, the second test vs the West Indies.

When he was first selected, he was under only a little pressure. He was batting well, and Cook barely bowled him. Genuine expectations of him, as a spinner, were low. And whenever he bowled a good ball people were surprised and happy. And the more he bowled the better he got. In the end, we all believed.

Then injury. And James Tredwell … a 100% bona fide spinner. Of considerable years and experience. Not flashy, but accurate and steady. And looks 300 years old. Almost. And he bowled terrifically well in the first innings, taking 4 for spit. BUT he “only” took one more wicket in the 2nd innings and was dropped – due to injury claim some.

This time Moeen was selected, on what would likely be a spinning track, with the expectation of bowling out the WI in their second innings when Tredwell couldn’t. To me this is wholly unfair. With this knowledge of replacing a genuine spinner in the team can come only pressure. And for what is, without question, the 2nd string to his bow.

I thought of penning this early on day, but because I’m lazy I didn’t get around to it until now (tea-time on day 4). Sadly – thus far – it doesn’t look good for our story’s hero. I’d not be surprised if this pressure (however unwittingly) causes his loose shot in the first innings and his run-out in the second. He is bowling a bit better in the 2nd innings, but I’ll not be shocked if Root (again) returns the better figures.

I hope I’m wrong and that Moeen can rise to the occasion but, for me, he’ll be a much better player if he is the 2nd spinner in the side (pick Ali AND Rashid) or the one spinner who is only called upon for smaller spells.

Remember when he looked like this?

ali-smooth

American 9-Ball In Decline

03 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by grunthosbird in Moaning, Snooker and Pool

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9-Ball, Europe, Mosconi Cup, Pool, Snooker, USA

mosconiA decade ago, in the 9-ball world, the USA were winning almost everything – especially the Mosconi Cup. Their superiority was based around smarter tactics, more experience, and a general higher level of nous.

Now Europe, and in particular Britain, has caught up. Well, they’ve actually done more than that – they have surpassed the USA. While there is no real difference in terms of skills and brain-play, the gap is down to a far superior technique displayed this side of the pond.

A snooker background is more common in Europe (especially Britain) than in the USA, and now that “we” have narrowed the gap tactically it is the USA’s turn to look about and attempt to decipher what is causing their slide.

If you watch the American players, their fundamentals are poor. Examples vary: a loose or curious stance, unconventional bridges, wobbling heads; too much movement. This failure will most commonly manifest itself in silly mistakes, or long pots, when under pressure; a good and solid technique can protect you, in part, against this.

I believe that, having invented the game of 9-ball, the Yanks are currently too arrogant to reach outside their own area in search of ways to improve.

I predict a very strong 9-ball future for Europe.
And victory, of course, in this Mosconi Cup!

Tales of Frustration Graces

26 Sunday Oct 2014

Posted by grunthosbird in Games, Moaning

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dungeon, JRPG, maps, random battles, RPG, strategy, Tales, Tales of Graces, turn-based, Zelda

Tales games.
I should love them. I really should.
I’ve been playing JRPGs for over 20 years.
And I love them.
I love battles and item management.
I even like random battles.
Turn-based and strategy (grid-based) are my favourite types … Zelda is too “actiony” for me.

Tales games have action-based battles, but at their heart they play like a turn-based game. They always feature cool characters, great stories, lovely art, and superb music.

Why then do they make me so cross?
It’s simple.
Or rather, it isn’t.
The battle systems, especially of late, are over-complicated, and any break in play (which happens frequently if you have any semblance of a normal life) means you will most likely forget the subtleties and nuances of the crazy-deep battle more and be reduced to button mashing or setting people to “auto” 😦

There was, in Tales of Graces F – clearly the “F” stands for Frustration, a dungeon that was simple (in concept) yet so samey myself (and my two JRPG daughters) kept losing track of where we were. AND THE INTERNET HAD NO MAP!!! No, really. It’s true. NO MAP. Well, save one that was so hopelessly inadequate it might as well not have been there. There were a few instructions like “up, north, descend, east” etc. But that’s a bit crap if you’ve lost your starting point!

So we made a map and got minced by the boss 😥

Wallbridge Tower Map

New Statistical Worst For England

10 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by grunthosbird in Cricket, Moaning

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10th wicket, Anguish, England, Last Wicket, Polish off the tail, Rubbish England

England suck

England are more than twice as bad as anyone else

We all know that England are rubbish. When they lose we (their fans) just know that they suck. And Wins are only the result of poor opposition, good players missing, great teams under-performing, or some horrible fluke.

Firmly believing this, I wanted to prove that England are the worst at bowling out 10th wicket partnerships. It wasn’t hard. Cricinfo has this wonderful list of the top 50 best, most horrible, 10th wicket stands. I figured that England appeared a lot in that list: as the victim – obviously. After twisting a SUMIF statement I produced the simple table to your right. It tells you that England are easily twice as bad as everyone else at conceding runs to the worst batters in the other team. Whoops.

OK, I know that with historical cricket stats, England and Australia are likely to have skewed results because they have played more matches but, even so, it isn’t something to stick on your bedroom wall. Unless you’re a REAL England fan.

England are OK

Do not look at this.

In the interests of fair play, I think England fans should ignore the table to the left which shows that even though they are TERRIBLE at bowling out numbers 10 and 11, their own numbers 10 and 11 aren’t the worst. Shame on you England – stop being decent, I can’t cope.

What else stands out from this table is that, given how (relatively) few test matches that New Zealand have played, they’ve had more than a few decent digs from their rats and mice down the order – fear them.

<– (total runs scored by 10th wicket partnerships, per country, from the top 50)

 

Viewpoint – 3rd Level Does Exist

01 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by grunthosbird in Games, Moaning

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

AES, FM Towns, MVS, Neo Geo, NeoGeo, Viewpoint

Viewpoint Box ArtAbout 15 years ago I finally stumped up about £70 (just over $100) for this beautiful isometric shooting game on SNK’s fabled NeoGeo console. I couldn’t get the Japanese version (nicer box art) but I was more than content with the European version because the game was no different.

I loved everything about the game. The type of game is one of my favourites – a shmup – where you control a tiny ship and dodge bullets while shooting waves of enemies. I can’t help it, I’m childish that way.

The graphics are beautiful; the colours are bold, the animation is smooth, and there is a lavish attention to detail. The graphics style is unusual, the game is viewed in “isometric 3D” … SEGA’s Zaxxon was (possibly?) the earliest shooting game to use this perspective. Even now, there are only a handful that do. Parasquad on SEGA’s 32X is one that spring to mind, but that uses what now appears clumsy 3D instead of, the still ever-so-fetching, highly polished 2D sprites of Viewpoint.

The music is very 80s, but screams of fun and somehow works perfectly to set scenes of joyous panic. And the sound effects don’t drown out the tunes … something that can irk me tremendously.

Actually, I lied. I don’t love everything about this game. There is one problem. A pretty big one too. The game is HARD. I mean REALLY BLOODY HARD. I have owned it for 15 years and today, for the first time ever, I reached level 3. LEVEL THREE. That’s really not very far is it? But I was BUZZING. Really pumped as, on my last life, I finally killed that bastard crab at the end of level two. I got so excited I took pictures – not sure if I feared I dreamed it all, or that I would NEVER get there again!vp-lv3-01

This is the start of level 3. My ship was flashing at the start .. games of this ilk often give you a few second of invulnerability, at the start of the level, when there are no enemies about. Very kind 😦 My previous highest score was about 128,000. Scores don’t really matter in games like this; it’s all about getting past a certain level. But hey 🙂 Level 3.

vp-lv3-02

This big purple robotic slug was brand new. Obviously I had to shoot his (or her?) babies and dive into the black hole behind them.

Somehow, I threaded my way from one “smart bomb” to another and butt-clenched my way through waves of bullets. Did I mention that this was my last life? Meep.vp-lv3-03

Now this was level 3’s boss. A curious fly that was shooting at me and a rapid centipede like companion that was also shooting at me. I had no idea how their attacks would work. However, I had one trick up my sleeve – if I fired lots of little bullets the game slowed down just enough to give me a fighting chance. And I managed to damage it so that it turned around and showed me his posterior. For reasons of decency, I dare not share that image. Anyway, he killed me. Or his bottom laser did. But I was physically shaking .. so excited after just playing an old-fashioned game. And you know what? I still love Viewpoint. You should too – give it a go, be brave!

vp-lv3-04

My final death score

 

 

 

 

 

The Problem With Eoin

15 Sunday Jun 2014

Posted by grunthosbird in Cricket, Moaning

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Eoin Morgan, Joe root, ODIs, Test Cricket

Eoin Morgan has been, for a few years, one of England’s very best ODI cricketers. He hits the ball cleanly, and he stays in long enough to make hundreds. Clearly he isn’t daunted by the “big stage”.

Why then has he not managed to make the same impact at First Class or Test level? He scores slowly and can even get completely stuck. However, in the current round of county cricket, he made an aggressive 191 – with 29 fours and 2 sixes. Interestingly, this very impressive innings backs my theory.

I think he struggles to “tick over”, keep the score going, get off strike etc. This produces a perceived pressure and culminates in him making an over-attacking shot, which often goes wrong, and consequently he only scores big when he’s having a REALLY good day.

His innings of 191, from 265 balls contained 128 runs in boundaries … 67% of his total. Contrast this with Joe Root’s recent test hundred – 200 from 298 balls, with 16 fours – only 32% of his runs in boundaries. Both batsmen scored at over 4 runs per over, yet Joe Root ticks the score along with relative ease and I believe this helps him as much as it hinders Eoin. Root is thus able to play simple shots to “tick over” that don’t require the same degree of risk or difficulty.

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