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Monthly Archives: October 2012

Wind Farms – as green as my own faeces

31 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by grunthosbird in Moaning

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Bore Holes, Green Energy, Solar Energy, Tidal Energy, Wind Farms, Wind Turbines

If you have already guessed that I do not like wind turbines: well done, you’re less stupid than most wind farm fans.

I AM NOT AGAINST GREEN ENERGY.
I SIMPLY THINK THAT WIND TURBINES BLOW.
Unlike the wind.

Without knowing much about them factually, I have never thought of them as a good idea.  In my simple mind I imagine that wind is not consistent.  I have also driven passed wind farms, many of them (on our ~600 mile trips up and down the UK to see relatives). Much of the time the wind farms ruin a view of the landscape, but even more frustratingly a large proportion of them do not appear to be working at all. Feeling provoked, I ask about a little and discover that other people have noticed this inactivity too, and that these turbines kill wildlife, and that they cost more to make than they save from energy production for about 8000* years.

*Statistical information may have been pulled out of my rear end.

Hearing these stupid devices in the news again, I thought I’d prod about and see if the landscape had changed.

(1) Bat and Bird Butchery – In the US wind turbines kill “only” about 450,000 birds a year. Hardly anything compared to other things, so it doesn’t matter. The case for bats is a little more alarming, as the spinning blades (so this applies only to working turbines) cause odd pockets of air pressure which confuse the bats. But they are a mite creepy so we don’t worry about that. Just so you know, I often use sarcasm.

(2) Basic Design Flaws – The grout (yes, tile glue) used in some wasn’t meant to handle the bending/twisting provided by wind. Yes. That’s right, wind turbines weren’t built to withstand wind. More on that here.

(3) Fault Regularity – There are two common types of fault with the turbines. Every 7 years the gearboxes fail – and every 2 to 2.5 years there’s an electrical fault. So, add the two together and, on average, they break about every 20 months. Wonderful, wonderful stuff. Read more, if you dare.

(4) Bad Numbers – The numbers predicted by wind farm fanatics, manufacturers, or huggers appear to differ considerably from reality.
(i) Turbines will generate 30% of their rated capacity … readings show it to be ~25%.
(ii) The wind always blows … average is 1600MW, 124 times it was under 20MW.
(iii) Few periods of long low wind … low wind events once ever 6.4 days for 5 hours.
(iv) Low wind and high demand together unlikely … at the 4 periods of highest demand, the turbines were at ~5% of capacity.
(v) “Pumped storage hydro” will cover gaps of low wind … no, not at all; only full power for 5 hours, and runs out completely in 22.
More detail here.

This blogger chap wrote the 3 pages I linked to, and is well worth a gander.

BETTER IDEAS
(1) Solar energy: Even dull light produces energy, and it’s a lot more predictable and consistent than wind. Existing building and structure can be fitted with solar, and even though it isn’t high gain, it can be a  cheap and effective way to help.
(2) Bore Holes: Drill a mile down into the earth for constant heat which is easy to harness, and high in power. The downside is that the earth only has enough of this heat for a few million* years.
(3) Tidal Power: This has big flaws, but it is totally predictable and very powerful. If you’re an engineer and you can devise a cheap, robust way to harness this energy, you’ll put an end to sodding wind farms.
(4) BIOGAS: This was pointed out to me (again) by the very cool SixSixEight. Basically, a lot of waste (natural and processed) can be used to very effectively produce fuel. Read about it here.

Remember folks, green is good but wind is just a warning of shit to come.

Worst Governments Ever

30 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by grunthosbird in Moaning

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Corrupt, David Cameron, Ed Miliband, Greedy, Liars, Politics, Stupid

It’s a close run race. Cameron and Miliband are both total pricks. They each claim to be different when they agree. Both the Lefites and the Righties have tried to make over-complicated fiddly little tax changes which really help no-one.

The latest stupid move is from the double-twat blend of the Conservatives and the Liberals. They want to introduce a “pay-as-you-go” road tax. Or a motorway tax. They aren’t quite sure yet. One thing is clear though – both ideas have as much merit as recycled soluble coffee.

Pay-as-you-go road tax. The basic idea is to tax people more if they drive more. This would be very difficult to police. About the best idea is to charge folk when they get their MOTs or Road Tax(!) done. The problems? (1) We really do no want people to have extra reasons to avoid having their cars fully road-worthy. (2) People have not got the spare coins to pay for an MOT and extra tax at the same time. (3) It is unfair to charge people more if they have to drive to work simply because they have had the decency to get a bloody job. (4) We already have sodding pay-as-you-go-tax system … it’s called sodding fuel tax you stupid dumb bastards.

The motorway tax. Now this winds me up too. Do they plan to install toll-station are on each motorway? Isn’t the congestion bad enough already? Because we’d really love more queues. Also, it’d be great to encourage people to use back roads through small villages – you know, instead of the motorways.

And BOTH ideas are crap because, in order for them to actually benefit from one of the above loony schemes, they’d have to charge so damn much that our country would again be shunted further up it’s own backside.

So, dear MPs, please stop being stupid and come up with a SIMPLE solution.

For example, if you need more money from drivers: increase the fuel duty. I know it is shit, but it is slightly more fair, a whole lot cheaper to set up, and requires no special policing or tracking.

If you need more tax from workers, then raise income tax by 1%, reduce all benefits by 1%, and reduce your own f**king wage by 2% because you’re crap at your jobs. Again, this is such a cheap, fair, and simple solution that even MPs could understand it.

 

Movie Martin is Wrong

25 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by grunthosbird in Moaning, Movies

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Don't Lost Your Head, Flash Gordon, Ghostbusters, Highlander, Princes of the Universe, Queen, Ray Parker Jr

I was talking shit. Again.
It happens. Often.
And, as usual, I was right. Completely and utterly.
The topic was songs written for movies.

We weren’t talking about ordinary pop songs that form a movie soundtrack, orchestral scores, or even songs from musicals – a much smaller field. Songs which are written for, and lyrically reference the movie and/or its characters.

The start was then I mentioned this song from this masterfully cheesy movie…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk-KYQOXLvo
-( Queen – Flash Gordon )-

After grooving away, I said “Best song-for-a-movie ever“…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGMGwWWUkII
-( Queen – Princes of the Universe )-

Martin wasn’t happy. He countered, “this is the best“…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlUURCHR1B0
-( Howard Huntsberry – Higher and Higher )-

Frankly, I was appalled. I did not like that at all.
I suggested “this would have been a much better argument“…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVgMc8hkS8k
-( Ray Parker Jr – Ghostbusters )-

Now folks, it’s up to you lot.
But, having listened to Howard Huntsberry again, I don’t think it even counts – it doesn’t refer to the movie or the characters. I’ll leave it in though.
Please vote for your choice, as you see fit. You may add songs of your choice.

Sports Personality of the Year

19 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by grunthosbird in Moaning, Tennis

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Andy Murray, Bradley Wiggins, Jessica Ennis, Mo Farah, Rory McIlroy, SPOTY, Tim Henman

Many people have said that, this year, SPOTY will be harder than ever.
A WONDERFUL year certainly, but not a hard choice.

If you know me at all, you’ll not be surprised when I tell you that I think Andy Murray should get the nod. I will now attempt to justify myself.

(1) Strength of opposition: Murray is playing tennis in what is widely regarded as the period of highest quality of men’s tennis ever. Let’s face it, Rafa and Roger are regarded as two of the VERY BEST players in tennis history. Right now, those two are BEHIND Novak and Andy! That is a serious statement; if you’re not a tennis fan, you may struggle to appreciate its significance. In this regard, only Rory McIlroy can hold a candle to Andy; having put Tiger Woods firmly in his place.

(2) Burden of expectation: Murray has had the pressure heaped mercilessly on his shoulders. It started as soon as people realised there was another Brit after Tim Henman. Added to this, are idiots who keep on about him being British (when he wins) or Scottish (when he loses). An American after-match commentator even called him English. Since he was 17 people have been telling him that the time a Brit won a slam was in 1936. To shut some folk up he has (nearly always) displayed a winning record against Roger Federer (the greatest ever player ever, they say) … but he’s only done that in 3 set matches, so it doesn’t really count (they say). He has been ridiculed for failure and chastised for success.  No-one else on the SPOTY has come close to this level of irk.

(3) Not “only” the Olympics: A few athletes have achieved mighty feats this year, to be sure. But only Murray and Wiggins, that I’m aware of, have really achieved the majestic as well as an Olympic gold medal (incidentally, the only “singles title” Roger Federer hasn’t won). Bradley’s Tour de France win, the first Brit in 109 years, was completely spectacular. And I do realise that it is really hard for Olympic athletes to shine as brightly in non-Olympic years; but as acknowledged before, this has been a special year!

(4) Stunning Good Looks: OK, Murray does not win this, and for this title I can’t see past Jessica Ennis. But really, it’s a personality contest, isn’t it?! Well, that’s what it’s laughably called, but so far as I know a good sense of humour hasn’t won anyone this prize yet.

(5) The Double: Mo Farah was awesome .. no doubt. Two gold medals. Incredible. Murray only got one gold, one silver. But to be fair, Mo’s gold double was astonishing and he does seem like a top bloke.

Basically, whatever argument I use, Murray comes out near the top. Cumulatively, that must put him on the very top of the pile.

He’s brilliant, enjoy him.

Gordon Brown – Strangle Him

19 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by grunthosbird in Movies

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Tags

Golden Brown, Gordon Brown, greed, Muppets, Tax, The Stranglers, Tony Blair

Image

Firstly, I intended to do this a few years ago,
but
 for reasons of laziness never got round to it until now.

GOLDEN GORDON BROWN

Gordon Brown taxes big sumsImage
Gets me all down and my mind she runs
Throughout the night
Always a fight
Only a frown with Gordon Brown

Every time just like the last
All of his shit tied to the mast
To distant lands
washes both his hands
Only a frown with Gordon Brown

Gordon Brown, Tony’s temptress
Through the ages, he’s made a mess
ImageNot far away
Stays anyway
Only a frown with Gordon Brown

Only a frown with Gordon Brown
Only a frown with Gordon Brown

Bad T20 Finals Day

07 Sunday Oct 2012

Posted by grunthosbird in Cricket, Moaning

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

2012 Champions, Australia, England, Sri Lanka, West Indies, WT20

The first final was ACE.
Everything went to plan.
The bowling was OK, and the batting was sublime.
The English were less than perfect in the field and the Aussies carried on batting.
England tied them down a bit, but the Aussies kept on batting.
It was terrific.
England batted too slowly, never quite able to catch up with the rate.
Each time they threatened, they’d lose another wicket.
The Aussie bowling was OK, but the pressure cooked the English.
It was brilliant.

OK, I lied. 
I hated it. I cried. 
Then chips, I fried.

The Second T20 Was Perfect
The lovely Sri Lankans strangled the West Indian bully boys.
After 10 overs, those hapless Caribbean folk had scored on 32/2.
I was laughing it was the perfect anti-dote to the first final.
My 2nd (sometimes 3rd) favourite team were being lovely.
Then Marlon friggin’ Samuels hit a six.
And another and another and a-bloody-nother.
No-one else could bat worth crapm, but Samuels – he bloody did.
The git.
Still, with only 137, those fabulous Lankans would be fine.
Jayawardene and Kumar Sangy will laugh as they knock the runs off.
The pitch is a belter. Almost unfair really.
48-1 .. all is good.
69-7 .. I hate cricket.
21-6 .. that was the collapse.
No way back. I don’t really know what made the difference in the end.
SL bowled beautifully, Mendis taking 4-12, the best.
Gayle failed, so SL had all the aces.
Somehow, Darren Sammy’s brain made SL crumble.
I can’t be sad, but I wanted SL to win.
To commiserate I’ll make some extra sweet tea 😦

The West Indies were so good,
Played better that they should.
Gayle ran out of tricks,

And the Lankans won it early,
But Marlon hit his six,
Then the Lankans all went girly.
They failed with the bat,
And that was friggin’ that.

England does a rubbish

01 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by grunthosbird in Cricket, Moaning

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Ajmal, Bairstow, Bresnan, Broad, Dorsal Finn, England, Kohli, Malinga, Paksitan, Ravi Bopara, Samit Patel, Sanga, Swann, t20, Twatto, world cup

England made a whole big pile of mistakes today.

(1) The team.
(1a) Ravi Bopare: Nasser Hussain (bless him) loves Ravi Bopbop and even he said it was a daft selection. He is hopelessly out of form, out of confidence, and has a worryingly deep pit in the centre of his chin.
(1b) Jade Dernbach: The Dirtbag has everything. Genuine pace, good variations, yorkers, slower balls, even a good bouncer. For some reason he has been hittable all tournament. I don’t quite know why. But suddenly bringing him back was odd.
(1c) Tim Bresnan: Bressie lad’s experience would have been ideal for a crunch game. So, with  a team of inexperienced players, the only sensible thing was to drop him.
(1d) Danny Briggs: Twiggs opened the bowling and did well each time. In fact, each game he played in, England won. He’s young, with a cool head, and has a lot of T20 experience. Best drop him too.

(2) The toss. On a tired pitch, one where he knew what a good score was, where pressure batting 2nd was more than likely to tell, Broad won the toss and chose to bowl. Gimp.

(3) Mitts. We couldn’t catch a sodding cold. Swanny’s drop at slip was terrible. For some reason the TV folk said it was a sharp chance. Bollocks. the ball looped, at medium speed, of the shoulder of the bat, straight to Graeme who mistimed his jump, and got only his finger tips to the ball. If he wasn’t so busy being embarrassed he might have had a chance at taking the rebound.
(3a) Mitts: Jonny Bairstow is now flagged in my mind as “not a ‘keeper”. I have always been a fan of selecting a “proper” gloveman, thinking that his skill by brining an extra wicket may well make more difference than an extra few runs. the other point here is that Bairstow is a fantastic out-fielder, so putting him behind the sticks double-weakens England.
(3b) Samit Patel: His bowling is normally pretty good; but if he gets tonked in one over and you have another option, then Broad was a prick for not using it. Even if it was Ravioli.

(4) Bats: Hello Malinga. I know you, you’re the chap who bowls full and straight. Quite handy you are too. But I play for England. I can do what the heck I like. Gimp. Gimp. Gimp. Gimp for 3, in fact.
(4a) Morgan never got going, the middle order collapsed. Samit held his nerve. Swann tried to make amends. Too much damage was done early on.

All in all, it didn’t make great viewing, and to be fair, with most of these mistakes being utterly self-inflicted, England didn’t deserve to win. The west Indies though, they are pretty lucky. They played poorly all day and some how got home against the Kiwis.

My heart wants Sri Lanka to win, but my head says Australia will. I can see Australia getting hammered though, their batting line-up pre-tournament-proper was frail, and has been for some time. Twatto, Warner, and Mussey can’t keep doing it all. If they fail, their world could come crashing down; but from where I’m sat, they seem lucky. All of this means that Pakistan will win – their bowling attack is probably the best, and by a distance. The trouble is that they can’t normally catch of field, though their effort and enthusiasm have been great so far. Which means India will now win. And if they do, there will be only one reason: Kohli.

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